This method is often the simplest way to resolve problems. Most people can be reasonable if approached in person. People are sometimes unaware that they are causing you a nuisance.

Speaking with someone face to face is certainly preferable to either shouting at them or writing letters to them because they are likely to become defensive.

Before approaching your neighbour you should:

• think about what you want to say
• have a clear and simple message in mind - it will give you more confidence
• be clear about what the problem is and think about how it affects you
• do not stray from the main issue
• think beforehand what the outcome is likely to be
• try to choose a good moment
• before you talk to your neighbour, try talking to another person. eg a friend or your housing officer.

Some useful tips:

• try to stay calm and friendly; being aggressive is not going to help
• explain what the problem is, how you feel and how it affects you
• often people may not realise that a problem exists, especially when the problem is noise
• always listen to your neighbour and think about what they are saying. By listening as well as talking you help to build a good atmosphere where problems are more likely to be resolved
• try not to interrupt the other person when they are talking
• try not to shout, even if your neighbour does. Try to stay in control and not be abusive
• try not to bring up incidents from the past, especially if they are not relevant to the present dispute. Instead look to the future and how you want things to change
• be tolerant
• if your neighbour is unreasonable - leave the discussion.